Paranormal Activity (2007)

I know, okay? I know. How have I not seen this yet? They’re on like Paranormal 12 at this point aren’t they? To be honest I never really had any interest in these movies. I think a lot of it had to do with the marketing campaign. The whole THIS IS THE SCARIEST MOVIE YOU’LL EVER WATCH, JUST LOOK AT THIS ACTUAL FOOTAGE OF PEOPLE WATCHING IT AND BEING SUPER SCARED bullshit just didn’t do it for me. Meh, I said. Then it became like this huge phenomenon, but I was already committed to dismissing it because I’m stubborn like that. Meh, I said again, but louder. But I think it’s about time I watched it. Honestly if I’m willing to give Dead Silence a chance then this deserves a shot, right? It can’t be worse than that.

VERDICT: It’s not as bad as Dead Silence. It wasn’t great either. It was pretty much what I expected. I really don’t have much to say about it to be frank. It was just meh.

I appreciate what it was trying to do. It did have some decent qualities, but it was just bland. I liked that they tried to do more than just Haunted house is haunted. I appreciated the simplicity of it. Also, the acting was okay. I mean, at certain points it was B movie bad, but then at other points the acting was great. *Shrug* I will say my absolute favorite part was with Dr. Fredrichs, the psychic when Katie and Micah ask him to come over for help. As soon as he walks in the door he just tells them they’re fucked and he wants no part of it and leaves. He straight up Bye, Felicia’s them and dips out.

#sorrynotsorry

I think I would probably give this movie a better review if it weren’t for the horribly disappointing ending. It was so cliche and dumb. It really ruined any of the bright spots this film had for me. I guess, there were multiple endings that were proposed, but then Steven Spielberg suggested they end it THIS way, so they went with it. Steven Spielberg’s last good horror flick was Poltergeist and that was in 1982. Maybe let’s not listen to him anymore.

It wasn’t the worst thing I’ve ever watched, but I doubt I’m ever gonna pick it up again. Looking at it objectively I really do have to give it some credit though. Let’s look at some of the other horror flicks that came out that year: Hostel 2, The Hills Have Eyes 2, Wrong Turn 2, DEAD SILENCE. At least it was trying to do something different. 5 out of 10 for you, Paranormal Activity. Ya’ did yer best, kid.

Join me tomorrow for Last Shift. I know precisely dick about it, but that pentagram face looks freakin’ metal and I would like to know more.

Adios, mi amigos.
And stay spooooooooky.